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Success

6/22/2013

 
The Road ahead or the Road Behind 
-George Moriarty

I think the fates must grin,
as we denounce them and insist,
The only reason we can't win
is the fates themselves have missed.

Yet, there lives on the ancient claim-
We win or lose within ourselves,
The shining trophies on our shelves can
Never win tomorrow's game.

So you and I know deeper down,
There is a chance to win the crown,
But when we fail to give our best,
We simply haven't met the test

Of giving all and saving none,
Until the game is really won.

Of showing what is meant by grit,
Of playing through not letting up,
It's bearing down that wins the cup.

Of taking it and taking more
Until we gain the winning score

Of dreaming there's a goal ahead,
Of hoping when our dream are dead,
Of praying when our hopes have fled.

Yet, losing, not afraid to fall,
If bravely we have given all,
For who can ask more of a man [or woman!],
Than giving all within its span,

That giving all, it seems to me,
is not so far from victory

And so the fates are seldom wrong,
No matter how they twist and wind;
It's you and I who make our fates,
We open up or close the gates

On the Road Ahead or the Road Behind

The Essence of Sportsmanship

5/28/2013

 

Sportsmanship

3/20/2013

 
From the Responsible Sports eNewsletter:
A local hockey association outside Toronto issued a warning to all players and teams:  “anyone found to be disrespectful while shaking hands will be dealt with by the organization's discipline and ethics committee.” The issue: a group of players– ages 11 and 12– were aggressively hitting or tapping their opponents’ gloves.  The issue is by no means unique to hockey. In youth soccer matches, the ‘good game’ hand-slap at the end of the game can sometimes be so hard as to hurt an opponent’s hand. And sadly, it’s not just the athletes involved in this type of misbehavior. Highlight reels captured a coach tripping an opposing player during the handshake lineup. While teams are going through the motions of respecting their opponents, clearly the mindset and emotion are not quite what we all intended. So this month, we turned to the experts at Positive Coaching Alliance to ask: what exactly can and should we do to respect our opponents?

Olympic Gold Medalist and USA Softball icon Jennie Finch quoted Billie Jean King when she said: “pressure is a privilege.”  That pressure and the corresponding privilege comes when you have a strong, quality opponent. When your opponent challenges you to dig deeper, to try harder, to master a new skill in an effort to beat them. Let’s face it: without a worthy opponent, sports is not fun.  And while no one likes to lose, it’s also not that fun to always win and not be challenged.  True competitors and true athletes compete for the challenge of the competition.

So then how can we teach our youth athletes to embrace their opponents, to be thankful for the competition, and to respect their opponent?  The experts at Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) gave us a wealth of insight that we’re passing on to Responsible Sport Parentsand Responsible Coaches (and even thinking about how it applies to our business life here at Liberty Mutual Insurance.):

    Reinforce the idea that a worthy opponent is a gift.  Mike Legarza, a collegiate basketball coach, who has worked closely with PCA, uses a drill with his players to illustrate and reinforce the concept.  On the first day, he announces a game of tug of war.  But he asks all of the players to get on one side of the rope.  The players are usually dumfounded, wondering how it will work with no one on the other side.  As PCA Chief Executive Officer and Founder Jim Thompson says, “That is the point.  Mike uses this vivid illustration to point out the importance of having a worthy opponent.”

    Drill For Sportsmanship.  We practice sports so that when we get to the game situation, our athletes’ actions are nearly automatic.  They know what to do and they are comfortable doing it.  So if we expect them to exhibit sportsmanship on the field, we need to practice that as well.  When you scrimmage, make sure your players are picking each other up after the hard hit.  When you finish practice, make sure you are ending practice with handshakes and respect.  

    Seize Teachable Moments.  When we hear about or witness poor sportsmanship and disrespecting opponents, we as adults have an opportunity to use the incident as a teachable moment.  Lead a discussion with your team’s athletes about what they thought of the action and what they would have done. Allow your players to first come to their own conclusions.  But then continue the discussion with what you think of the situation, making it very clear that you will not tolerate unsportsmanlike behavior from your players and how you as the coach feel about Honoring The Game.  

    Espouse a “Fierce But Friendly” Attitude. PCA’s Chief Impact Officer, Tina Syer encourages kids to play as hard as they can, whistle to whistle, scrapping for loose balls and never shying from appropriate physical contact. “But when that whistle blows, we help our opponents up.” That whistle means the fierce ends and the friendly takes over.

    Thank Your Opponent – And Mean It. Real respect has the opportunity to show in those handshake lines.  While it might be cool to fist pump or glove tap, coaches who ask their teams to remove helmets and gloves, look their opponent in the eye, and shake (not slap) their opponents’ hands see that real respect can and will happen.  Encourage your players to say something specific to their opponents during that handshake line: if your opponent marked you well the entire game and made it tough for you to score, mention it.  Fill their tanks with respect for the tough competition they waged.

    Cheer So They Can’t Tell.  Parents in the stands can respect opponents as well. The PCA team tells the story of a father who set this goal for himself: “I want to cheer for good plays by both teams so if someone doesn’t already know which team my kid is on, they won’t be able to tell from my behavior.”  That’s truly Honoring The Game and respecting opponents from the stands!
Jim Thompson has talked about the “devaluation of sportsmanship.”  Where sportsmanship was once a powerful ideal in our society, today the term has been weakened and diminished. “A soccer coach told me recently that in many soccer tournaments, a sportsmanship trophy is awarded.  He said the team that wins the sportsmanship trophy, which is seen as an unattractive consolation prize, never looks happy about it.  I also remember another instance in which a woman said that her high school basketball coach told her that if the team ever won a sportsmanship trophy they would have to run laps.”  

The team here at Responsible Sports hopes that sportsmanship is not considered a trite or devalued concept.  But we also hope that Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sport Parents go beyond the concept of sportsmanship and embrace the concept of Honoring The Game, including honoring and respecting opponents. What strategies do you use to reinforce Honoring The Game with your athletes?  What kinds of specific drills or activities do you use with your team to teach a respect for opponents?  What do you as a parent say to your child about the topic of sportsmanship and respecting opponents?  Email us at team@responsiblesports.com and share your insights – we love hearing from you. Or join us on Facebook and share your thoughts with our community of supporters!

DBGS "Ground Rules"

2/5/2012

 
When we play games at our fields, our DBGS Rules apply.  We always abide by other leagues' rules when we play on their fields.  Managers and coaches should always take a moment to remind opposing, visiting managers about our league rules (or learn about the other leagues' rules) when meeting at home plate just prior to game time.

Professionalism – A Code of Conduct

9/1/2011

 
Picture
Taken from Candrea on Coaching, a monthly softball-related newsletter from an Olympic softball coach...On behalf of the Amateur Softball Association, welcome to the August issue of the ACE Coach monthly email from ASA Director of Coaching Education and two-time Olympic Coach Mike Candrea: Candrea on Coaching. As a youth sports coach, you naturally want to prepare your team to win as many games as possible, and as a Responsible Coach, you want to prepare your players to win off the field, too. The Liberty Mutual Responsible Sports program is proud to bring you this series in which Coach Candrea will provide you with coaching tips and resources that you can use for the betterment of your youth softball team.

Professionalism – A Code of Conduct

As I travel back from a very memorable trip to New York where I had the opportunity to experience a weekend with the New York Yankees, I thought I would share with you some observations of arguably the most successful franchise in professional sports.  It is hard to imagine the wealth of success (27 World Championships) and a tradition that defines the sport.  Walking through the offices and seeing pictures of Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Yogi Berra, and Mickey Mantle (my idol growing up), and all the great players that have worn the uniform, must be quite the challenge for today’s Yankees to live up to the expectations of fans from every generation possible.  The one thing I could feel from everyone that I had a chance to visit with from coaches, players, and front office was the sense of pride and obligation that went with representing the New York Yankee organization.

As I have the opportunity to watch many softball games during the summer, I always like to focus on the programs that ultimately find a way to position themselves for a chance to compete for a National Championship.  Believe it or not, many of the teams have the same qualities as the New York Yankees, although at a different level.  What are these qualities that separate the good from the great?  Yes, the Yankee’s are quite wealthy and are not scared to spend money to get the best players.  Although, after my trip, it is obvious that these players must also be a good fit and embrace the code of conduct and professionalism set by the organization.  These same expectations can be seen in a few softball organizations today – which are exciting to see.

I had the opportunity to visit with a former Arizona Wildcat and now the hitting coach for the New York Yankees, Kevin Long and really hear about what kind of people these great athletes are.  I wanted to know what kind of a teammate they were, work ethic, preparation, discipline etc.  A laundry list of what we try to instill in our players and kids.  The answers I received were exciting and confirmed the qualities of true professionals.  There is a reason why these players are in the major leagues and continue to stay at that level.  I imagine your job can be a great motivator when you have that kind of money at stake.


This excerpt was taken from the book “The Checklist Manifesto” written by Atul Gawande and speaks about learned occupations.  A tremendous lesson derived from being on a team and striving for success understanding that it does prepare you for success after softball.

“All learned occupations have a definition of professionalism, a code of conduct.  It is where they spell out their ideals and duties. The codes are sometimes stated, sometimes understood.  But they all have at least three common elements.

First is an expectation of selflessness:  that we who accept responsibility for others – whether we are doctors, lawyers, teachers, public authorities, soldiers, parents, or pilots – will place the needs and concerns of those who depend on us above our own.

Second is an expectation of skill:  that we will aim for excellence in our knowledge and expertise.
Third is an expectation of trustworthiness:  that we will be responsible in our personal behavior toward our charges.

Aviators, however add a fourth expectation, discipline:  discipline in following prudent procedures and in functioning with others.”

Sound familiar?  These are the necessary qualities that we look for in any good organization, team, player, coach or parent.  This is a quick check list for reducing failure and being a functional member of the team.  Are we teaching our players to be true professionals – even though we know that they will go Pro in something other than softball?

Until next month!

Coach Candrea

Humility in Sports

6/17/2011

 
Borrowed from responsiblesports.com
In recent weeks, we’ve been wondering: what happened to humility in sports?When did pride in athletic accomplishment tip the scales to no longer Honor The Game? This past month, examples of a lack of humility have made the sports headlines: Vancouver Canucks goaltender Roberto Luongo’s ‘verbal swipe’ at opposing Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas saying he could have stopped the winning goal that Thomas missed. What happened to winning with grace? The Dallas Mavericks’ DeShawn Stevenson publically saying that LeBron James had ‘checked out’ of the end of Game 4. Since when do athletes criticize the level of effort of an opponent? Don’t misunderstand us: having pride in yourself as an athlete and your accomplishments is an extremely important part of what sports delivers. But not at the expense of our opponents and the game itself.

This month we explore: how do you have pride and still Honor The Game? 

Thanks to the experts at Positive Coaching Alliance, we know that an essential part of upholding the values of a Responsible Sports environment within youth sports is about Honoring The Game. Respecting the Rules, Officials, Opponents, Teammates and Self. (Using the ROOTS acronym helps to remember the five principles.) 

None of us like to lose, but learning how to handle wins with humility and losses with dignity are great lessons that youth sports can teach our kids. So how can you help inject some humility and good sportsmanship into your child’s youth sports experience? 

1. Admit your own mistakes. We all know that kids mimic the adults in their lives. At an early age you learn this lesson when a slip of the tongue is repeated by your toddler. But just because the mimicking isn’t as obvious in older years doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Kids who see their parents admit mistakes and demonstrate the ability to move forward will more likely adopt the same approach themselves. 

2. Provide much-needed perspective. “It’s only a game.” Easy to say when you are in the stands and not the one who suffered the loss (although it’s not easy for all parents). But your perspective on the relative importance of the moment is critical to helping your child view the game in proper perspective. Help them reframe losses so that they do not dwell on what went wrong, but begin looking at what they can learn, work on and improve. 

3. Redefine winning and losing. Start with redefining winning not as the scoreboard, but as their ability to give 100% effort, learn as much as possible and move forward from mistakes. Redefine losing too; losing is not defined by the scoreboard results but by letting yourself and teammates through sub-par effort, by not learning from the experience so that you can improve in the future and by any violation of ROOTS. 

4. Celebrate wins and losses. You might be saying all the right things, but your nonverbal communication might be sending the opposite message. Are you cheering from the stands both when things are going well and when they are not? Are you heading out for ice cream after the game only when your son wins? Do you brag on Facebook only when your daughter’s team has won? Find a way to ‘celebrate’ the accomplishments of your son or daughter regardless of the result on the scoreboard. Ice cream for mastering a new technique and successfully using it in a game. Facebook posts with a video clip of outstanding defense. And consistent encouragement from the stands letting them know you believe in them. 

5. Honor – don’t degrade – the opponent. You wouldn’t have a game were it not for the other side. And as an athlete, you don’t have a chance to rise to your best without strong competition. There is no better way to reinforce this message with your child than to practice the same principle. Avoid making negative comments about the opposing coach or ‘calling out’ an athlete from another team in your game debrief. And, even in an effort to bolster your child, don’t say that she would have saved the shot that the opposing goalie missed. 

As we bemoan the degradation of humility in professional sports, we have only to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask whether or not we are teaching our kids – the future adult athletes - to show that humility. One of our jobs as Responsible Sports Parents and Responsible Coaches who teach our kids life lessons through youth sports is to help them develop the ability to win and lose with dignity and to respect the game at all times, regardless of the outcome.

Tell us – how do you help youth athletes learn humility when they win and dignity when they lose? Share with us your strategies, techniques and helpful tips. Join us at www.facebook.com/responsiblesports and weigh in!

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